


Until Death Do Us Part

by LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ...mostly, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beautiful Golden Fools, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Happy, Idiots in Love, Joanna Lannister Lives, Love, Married Couple, Married Life, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Sexual Content, Sibling Incest, Smut, Twincest, happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666/pseuds/LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666
Summary: A new law is passed in parliament that changes Jaime and Cersei's lives for good, allowing them the opportunities, freedom, and happiness that they once could only dare to hope for.A series of random one shots about the twins' life as, and in the lead up to being, a happily married couple, with drama, smut, fluff, family, more smut, a happy Tyrion & Cersei relationship, a touch of angst, barely any plot, AND ABSOLUTELY NO SACRELIGIOUS J/B. I promise.I'll update the tags as I go.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister
Comments: 57
Kudos: 59





	1. Have You Seen The News?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've taken a leaf out of @emmapemma's book from You're My Everything regarding documenting ages.  
> And as I'm on it now, my next PPP #6 is going to go to 'You're My Everything' by Emmapemma_98; I don't usually enjoy the idea of works where the twins aren't actually twins, because it's such a big part of who they are, but this work is just so cute and lovely and HAPPY that I couldn't not enjoy it, and that's without mentioning the commitment of the author - 103 chapters is no easy feat! :) 
> 
> Since I live in the UK, and it's the system that I know the best, this work will take place mostly in a Westerosi adapted version of the UK: Eg. British counties are within regions which will double as the Westerosi Kingdoms, and Westerosi Lord = Duke in the UK. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're all well, and I hope you enjoy!

Ages: 21, October.

Cersei did not look up from her work as her door was flung open and closed just as quickly.

‘Cersei.’

‘What?’

_‘Cersei.’_

‘What?’

‘CERSEI!’

‘What, Jaime?’ she said irritated, turning in her chair to face her brother, ‘I’m trying to work, in case you hadn’t noticed.’

‘Noted.’ He said, before walking towards her and kissing her deeply.

Despite herself, she couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped her as his lips touched hers.

They were in Cersei’s room of their shared university house, the day only just beginning to draw to a close, the last of the daylight filtering through the window.

It had been strange at first, getting used to the newly founded freedom that university life had afforded them, far away from the watchful eyes of their parents, servants, and various other suspicious minded people.

Of course, they had still had to be careful in halls, but most people had kept to themselves, preferring not to cross the paths of the golden children of the most powerful and wealthiest Duke in the country, and now in their university provided house things had only become easier.

In fact, they had been very surprised that their mother had even considered allowing them to share, but they supposed that she believed that their young childhood trysts had been left behind years ago - although she was not entirely without caution.

Joanna had only allowed them to live together on the basis that they shared with at least two other people - and who more fitting for that role than Prince Oberyn Martell and Lady Catelyn Tully? Well, at least in theory. In practice, neither cared in the slightest what Jaime and Cersei got up to.

Oberyn, perpetually bored, was rarely to be found without a lover in his bedroom, and Catelyn divided her time quietly between studying and meeting up with newly titled Duke Eddard Stark – her lover? Friend? They weren’t quite sure. They weren’t even quite certain that Stark was capable of emotion, especially not since the death of his father and brother.

‘I sure hope you didn’t just come in here for sex.’ She said when they broke apart. ‘Because it was the sex last night that means that I have to do this work now.’

‘But you loved it. And you love me.’ Jaime said, sporting his shit eating grin.

‘Granted.’ She replied, placing her hands on his chest as he leant in to kiss her again. ‘But that still doesn’t mean that you can’t have a reason for distracting me.’

Jaime paused for a moment, a bright glint shining in his eyes.

‘Have you seen the news?’ He asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Cersei took a moment to comprehend what her brother had just said.

‘You read the news?’ she asked incredulous. ‘ _Jaime Lannister read the news_? You don’t read anything unless you have to.’

‘Except you.’ He said as she rolled her eyes. ‘No, as a matter of fact, Tyrion sent the article to me. Anyway, that’s beside the point. You haven’t seen it, have you?’

‘No I haven’t. I’ve only been reading this fucking paper all day for tomorrow. I mean honestly, who the fuck cares whether one metabolite is able to successfully duplicate the hematotoxic effect of benzene or not!’

‘It’s not funny, Jaime!’ she said, hitting him lightly on the arm as he tried (poorly) to keep a straight face.

‘Okay, okay!’ he replied, putting his hands up in mock surrender. ‘If you don’t want to read it, I’ll go. But believe me, you want to read it.’

‘Fine. What is it?’ she asked, curious as to what her twin seemed so ecstatic about.

‘It came in about half an hour ago.’ He said, handing her his phone. He watched her expression carefully as she read through the article; through the biting of her lip, the crease of her brow, the raise of an eyebrow, he thought he glimpsed a shadow of a smile.

‘Cers,’ Jaime said, breaking the silence that had settled, and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands into his, ‘we don’t have to hide anymore.’

Cersei said nothing, and continued to stare at the phone as though it were hiding some other secret too.

‘They talked about it for weeks and weeks…’ she said quietly after a while, ‘I thought it was a joke.’

‘So did I. So did Tyrion. So did the ministers themselves. But it’s not. Somehow that mad Targaryen Prime Minister managed to pass his bill with a strong majority through both Houses – fear, bribery, god knows how - and get Royal assent. The Dornish always were liberal, and I guess King Doran is no different.’

‘What if it’s fake?’ She said shaking her head; hope often proved too dangerous a thing to give into. ‘It can’t be that hard to make up an article and hack into the BBC.’

‘It’s real, Cersei.’ He reached up a hand to gently guide her face towards him. ‘It’s real. It’ll be on the news at 6.’

‘It could get revoked.’ She said, emerald eyes meeting their matching pair. ‘I doubt Aerys Targaryen will last long after legalising sibling incest. And then what? Imagine what father could do.’

‘It won’t get revoked.’ Jaime said, running a thumb over his sister’s cheek. ‘Once it’s settled and a bit of time passes, no one will care enough to make a fuss. We’ll deal with father in our own way if we have to. He won’t like it, but he’ll have to deal with it. And we’ll be free. To hell with anyone who tries to stop it. They’re nothing against us.’

She kissed the palm of his hand. ‘It’s not as easy as that, Jaime. Just because it’s legal, it doesn’t mean all the problems will go away.’

‘Maybe not.’ He said, moving to whisper against her ear, sending a tingling down her spine. ‘But we can make them go away. It can be easy if we want it to be easy. I will not waste our only opportunity. Nobody can take it from us. Nothing else matters, only us.’

This time, it was her turn to kiss him.

All else forgotten, Jaime picked Cersei up in one fell swoop and carried her to the bed, placing his body over hers.

He made his way down her body, removing clothing and mouthing at her exposed flesh as he went, hands never ceasing to caress her figure, until she lay bare and celestial before him, her skin quivering at his touch.

Taking off his own clothes and throwing them carelessly aside, Jaime lay back over his twin, feeling goose bumps erupt over his flesh where his skin touched hers.

‘I love you,’ he proclaimed firmly, eyes locking together as one of her hands curled into his hair, ‘and all I have ever wanted is to be able to love you freely. You are mine and I am yours, and that’s how it should be.’

‘Shut up and fuck me.’ Cersei replied, yanking his head back down to her; he could feel her matching smile against his mouth.

But their smiles soon turned to moans as Jaime slipped effortlessly inside her, two pieces of one puzzle joined together flawlessly to form a harmonious and beautiful image.

*****

Later, basking in the blissful aftermath of their lovemaking, Jaime sat behind Cersei on her bed, placing the occasional kiss to her neck or shoulder and playing idly with her hair as she leant back against his bare chest, clothed only in his shirt, and scrolling through the internet on his phone.

‘I can’t believe how many articles there are on this.’ She said as she clicked on yet another article detailing the new law. ‘It was only announced an hour ago, and now there are millions of posts all saying pretty much the same thing. It’s ridiculous how many times people need to be told before they understand something. Oh look,’ she announced sarcastically, flicking to something else, ‘another inspiring post full of triggered, bitter, sleazy, dumb cunts who should be locked up in a prison.’ She huffed, tossing the phone to one side. ‘They probably don’t even have cocks.’

Jaime huffed a laugh before pulling Cersei even closer against him, meeting her lips as she leant her head back to kiss him.

‘Don’t think about them.’ He murmured against her skin, ‘Think about us, our future. All the things we can do together. Like getting married.’

She grinned against him. ‘I’m expecting a much better proposal than that.’ She said, as he kissed her again.

Before he could answer, however, they were disrupted by the ring of Jaime’s phone.

Picking the device up, he saw that it was Tyrion calling them.

Barely a split second after he had answered, their 17 year old brother was talking at them through the phone at break neck speed.

‘Hold up a second, Tyrion, slow down.’ Jaime said, trying not to laugh.

‘I was saying,’ the voice said emphatically, ‘that I’m happy for you guys, I really am, but you need to handle this situation carefully, if you’re going to go ahead and announce your relationship and get married and whatnot, which I assume you are. It’s not going to be easy.’

Cersei rolled her eyes at his obvious words, but even she too could not suppress a smile.

‘You still have the problem that father wants to marry Cersei to Robert Baratheon, and with the announcement of the new law, my advice is that you tell father ASAP about your relationship, and try and get him to see your point of view, otherwise you will both be married off to someone else within the fortnight. It won’t be easy, and he probably won’t listen, but it has to be done. Also, father is obviously furious about this, so… beware, I guess. Your best bet is probably to tell mother first and persuade her, and then get her to persuade father. I never said it would be easier, but you may actually get a result. And on that note, mother wants to meet up with you two tomorrow. She hasn’t said why, but it’s pretty self-explanatory.’

The commanding steel voice of their father resounded on the other end of the phone.

‘And you better hurry up and come home as soon as possible,’ Tyrion added, though not without a hint of amusement, ‘because I don’t think I can tolerate being the only Lannister child in this house for much longer. Do you realise how much I get my head bitten off every day? As if I don’t have better things to do with my time!’

And with that, Tyrion hung up the phone, leaving the twins to imagine the wrath of their father.

‘I won’t let him marry you to Robert Baratheon.’ Jaime said, hugging his sister close and pressing a kiss to her temple. ‘Or to anyone else for that matter. I love you, and I am not letting you go.’

‘I love you too.’ She replied, shifting to straddle his lap and kiss him deeply. They rested their foreheads against each other when they broke apart. ‘Now we just have to think about what we’re going to say to mother.’

‘If she already knows, then we’re probably fucked. If she doesn’t already know, then we’re also probably fucked.’ Jaime said, sliding his hands under Cersei’s shirt to rest on her waist.

‘Well, if we’re that far fucked,’ she whispered lowly, leaning in to gently bite his earlobe as she rolled her hips gently against his, ‘then we may as well make the most of the time we have.’


	2. Hot Night, Cool Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating my PPP #7 to 'I Think She Knows' by masterofthewhisperers, because not only is it such a GREAT, GREAT little fic, I am also a sucker for anything Myrcella and Jaime/Cersei relationship knowing related.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

Ages: 22, August.

The summer following their final year of university was hot. Too hot. The August sun bore down mercilessly throughout the days and the cover of night felt hardly much different. It was beautiful, to be sure, but the recent days had started to go past the point of enjoyable or indeed tolerable, and it was hard to do much more than laze around or go swimming to try and cool down. The sea breeze provided little relief, and even the extensive halls and stone corridors of Casterly Rock did little to shield against the heat.

It was amid this feverish swelter that Jaime awoke in the middle of the night, hot and sweaty and tangled in the covers, only to find the bed empty, his hand laying over the small imprint in the sheets where his sister – his fiancée - had been.

Jaime smiled to himself at the thought of her, his mind filling with her face, her long golden hair, her body, the feel of her skin, the scent of her flesh, the taste of her mouth - everything glorious and beautiful and otherworldly that was in her incarnate.

So much had changed within such a short amount of time, and he often found himself wondering whether it was all real. Not half a year ago they had contemplated their future, seeing only illicit, covert affairs and the anguish of separation, and now he had Cersei, in flesh and in blood for his own, to hold her when he wanted and to kiss her when they wished. No more secrets, no more hiding. They were allowed to be what they had always been made to be. Together, and free, and bound in love and law.

And even if it was all an illusion, a sweet illusion it was; for the first time, they had truly understood the meaning of pure, unadulterated happiness, and he wouldn’t exchange it for anything else in the world.

Shoving on a t-shirt and shorts, Jaime made his way through the corridors and down flights of stairs, stopping now and then to check in an occasional room, welcoming the relative coolness that the ground floor with its vast halls and large open windows provided.

The first thing he saw as he stepped into the living room was his brother lying on a sofa reading. Cushions were splayed out in all directions around him, a fan hummed softly on the table beside his head, and his feet were placed in a container of water whose temperature had probably ceased to be cold within a matter of minutes.

Before Jaime could open his mouth to say anything, Tyrion pointed in the direction of the kitchen without looking up from his book. Jaime couldn’t decide whether he felt more amused or guilty that his brother knew exactly what he was going to ask.

Leaving the room, he made a mental note to spend some more time with him the next day

Upon reaching his destination, Jaime hovered in the doorway for a moment or two before entering, just enjoying the view.

Cersei was sitting on the kitchen island counter, her bare feet resting on a chair, and a huge glass filled mainly with ice and a bit of water – actually, he wasn’t even certain that it was water – placed next to her, as she ate her way through a tub of Ben and Jerry’s with a spoon that was hardly an efficient size.

The moonlight caught the golden strands of her hair and the silver silk of her nightdress, bathing her in a shining, ethereal light, her flawless skin glowing, her emerald eyes dancing, the ring on her finger glittering.

‘I hate being too hot.’ She complained suddenly, having seen him standing in the doorway, breaking him out of his reverie. ‘I can’t sleep and I feel sweaty and gross, and nothing I do cools me down.’

‘I hate to break it to you,’ he replied, walking towards her, ‘but you’re hot every day, all year round.’

‘Oh ha ha ha, very funny.’ she said sarcastically as he approached, setting the ice cream and spoon down, ‘Forgive me for thinking you might actually say something serious.’

‘I was being serious.’ He said, as he nudged the chair that her feet rested on out of the way with his foot, and slid his hands just under the hem of her slip as she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips, pulling him close.

‘You don’t know the meaning of serious.’ Cersei replied with a smile.

‘Do I want to?’ he asked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

‘No.’ she said softly, leaning in to meet his lips in a deep and unhurried kiss as her hands tangled into his hair and his shirt, and his fell to her waist and travelled further up her thigh.

Jaime wasn’t sure if the novelty of their newfound freedom would ever truly wear off. The whole world could have seen them, and it would not have mattered; they were untouchable.

Cersei sighed as he started to kiss down her jawline and her neck, the feel and taste of her body and the sounds coming from her throat sending the blood rushing straight to his cock. But just as one of her hands fell to the fly of his shorts a voice called out from another room.

‘NO FUCKING IN THE KITCHEN!’ They heard Tyrion’s voice shout as they smiled against each other’s mouths. ‘YOU PROMISED! AND THAT’S A PROMISE I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE YOU TO KEEP!’

Cersei laughed softly as she removed her hand from Jaime’s crotch, deciding to rest her arms on his shoulders instead.

‘I guess we’ll just have to finish that some other time.’ She said, biting her lip and indicating towards the considerable bulge of his erection. ‘Or,’ she continued, whispering into his ear as she squeezed him firmly through his shorts as he moaned, ‘we could continue right now, if you’ll take me back upstairs.’

‘As much as I would love to fuck you right now,’ he replied, grabbing her hand and removing it from his cock, ‘ – and believe me, I do, - it wouldn’t exactly cool us down, so I have another idea _before_ we take this upstairs.’

‘And what is this idea, husband-to-be?’ She asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He smiled at the name she gave him.

‘Come on, I’ll show you.’ He said, taking her hand as she jumped off from the counter.

*****

An hour or so later they were stood on the private sandy shore beneath the huge cliffs on which the Rock stood, their family home standing proud and magnificent above them.

The air, though still muggy and oppressive, was thankfully at that time of the early morning tempered somewhat by the darkness and the coolness of the sea.

The twins had barely felt the sand beneath their feet for two minutes before they had stripped off their clothes and ran headlong into the sea, submerging their bodies in the refreshing moonlit waves, and splashing water at each other as though they were five years old all over again.

Their childlike amusement however turned rather less childish before too long, and soon they were bobbing gently in the water, their limbs entwined, their lips joined, and their hands roaming the other, unaware and indeed uncaring of how much time had passed as they savoured the taste and feel and company of their other half.

But the peaceful quiet of the gentle lapping of the waves was all of a sudden disturbed by the sound of a girlish scream.

‘Jaime there’s something in the water.’ Cersei said, seizing his arm roughly.

‘Us?’ He suggested, trying to bite back a laugh.

‘That’s not funny, Jaime.’ She said, clinging onto him even tighter. ‘There’s something else in the water, I felt it.’

‘Look, there’s nothing here except for us, some seaweed, and maybe some fish.’ He said, pressing a tender kiss to her temple. ‘We’ve been here hundreds of times and nothing bad has ever happened. And anyway, even if there was something other than fish, even that thing wouldn’t dare to touch us for fear of father’s wrath and ending up as seafood.’

Cersei cast a wary look around before nodding gently. Feeling her shiver against him, and aware that the enchantment of the sea had been temporarily broken, Jaime suggested that they return to the sand. Needless to say, Cersei agreed.

With the soft, warm, golden sand beneath their feet again, his twin visibly relaxed.

‘I never knew you were so afraid of seaweed.’ He joked as they were putting their clothes back on, the heat already starting to dry the water droplets from their skin.

‘I’m not!’ She protested fiercely, though he could see a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

‘Oh really?’ He said, dodging one of her shoes that came flying his way. ‘Because I’m pretty sure that you-’

Jaime was cut off as Cersei ran straight at him, catching him off balance and toppling both of them off their feet. They burst out laughing as they went crashing to the ground, tumbling around in a heap of limbs on the sand. Flipping their bodies over from how they had landed, Cersei pushed her brother onto his back and straddled him, placing her hands on his chest as she leaned down to kiss him.

‘You know, there’s no one around…’ she whispered suggestively when they broke apart, sliding a hand down into his shorts; Jaime groaned as he felt her delicate fingers wrap around his cock. ‘…and no one to stop us finishing what we started earlier.’

He cursed as she started to stroke his length, unable to help the thrust of his hips into her touch as she brought him more and more under her complete control.

The urge to kiss her growing rapidly, Jaime went to sit up, but she pushed him back down; resigned to her will, he contented himself with slipping a hand under her dress and teasing a finger against her centre, so wet and ready for him as she ground against his ministrations, seeking more friction than he was giving, soft and melodious moans escaping her throat.

So caught up in the other were they that they did not pay any heed to the roar of thunder that resounded through the air, and it was only when the rain had started to fall heavy and relentless did they once again become aware of their surroundings.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake!’ Cersei shouted frustrated when the deluge had become so thick that they could barely see a couple of metres around them, and could scarcely keep ignoring it for much longer. Besides, dawn would not long be upon them.

With the sand turning wet and sludgy around them, the twins abandoned their dalliance and quickly gathered the remainder of their clothing before running, hand in hand, the mile or so back to Casterly Rock.

By the time they got back to the main part of the castle they were soaked to the bone. To improve matters, they also realised on reaching the front door that they had forgotten to bring any keys with them.

Not wanting to wake the house, Jaime and Cersei made their way round the outside of the extensive stone walls to the kitchen, where, with some of the large windows having been left open during the heat of the night, they were able to clamber through the gap and back inside, though not without some difficulty.

Closing the windows behind them they headed out of the kitchen, only to be greeted immediately by the displeased figure of their father, halting them in their tracks, and making them feel as though they had reverted back to childhood, small like children caught red handed doing something they shouldn’t.

‘And where have you been?’ Tywin’s voice cut clear and sharp as steel through the hall.

Luckily for them they did not have to answer, for at that very moment Tyrion and Joanna appeared, and at once upon seeing his siblings in their state, their younger brother burst out into hysterical laughter, prompting the twins to have to bite back their own laughter too.

Their father, however, was not so amused, and rounded on Tyrion with a cold hard stare, forcing him to regain control, though his struggle was evident as his father turned back to face the twins again. Their mother, though not thoroughly pleased, was not entirely unamused, and Jaime could see the hint of a small smile that had appeared on her features.

‘Lannisters don’t act like fools.’ Tywin castigated sternly, looking them both straight in the eye. 'Now go’ he commanded, ‘and return when you have regained some sense and dignity worthy of your name.’

They left as they were bid, more than happy to go, and raced through the halls and up the stairs to their room.

The second they shut the door behind them, they wasted no time in stripping each other of their sodden clothing, kissing each other feverishly as their hands wandered impatiently over any bare flesh that they could find.

Determined not to be interrupted another time, as soon as they had fallen upon the soft covers of their bed, Cersei climbed on top of her twin and took his full length inside her, a moan of relief and pleasure torn from them both as they were joined.

Jaime moved his hands from her hips up to her breasts as he thrust up to meet the roll of her hips, her head thrown back in rapture, her golden hair, darkened from the damp, tumbling in waves around her shoulders.

When he moved to sit up this time, she did not move to stop him. Cersei clung to him tightly as Jaime attacked her neck with his lips, groaning at the feel of her hardened nipples against his chest and her tight walls clamped around his cock.

Their movements became increasingly erratic as their pleasure neared, and the only sound was that of their twin’s name against each other’s mouths as they came shuddering together.

All further energy spent, they collapsed back exhausted against the soft sheets.

*****

So when Tyrion was sent to find them to call them down for breakfast, he could not help a second bout of laughter on finding them wrapped in each other’s arms, fast asleep.


	3. State The Obvious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, hope you're all well. <3 <3 
> 
> PPP#10 goes to 'A Lannister Always Pays His Debts' by LionsEscaped. I know there's a good chance that most of us jc shippers would rather not have the twins dead at the end of canon, and so this fic, and its sequel Golden Age, offers a really interesting concept to see what could have happened had Tyrion decided to act upon learning of his siblings' deaths. 
> 
> Apologies for taking so long to update, and I'm aware that this isn't the best chapter ever, but hey ho, and here the next one is at last! <3

Ages: 20, January

‘Jaime!’ Tyrion yelled before bursting into his brother’s room, only realising too late that that had been a big mistake. ‘Jaime, there’s something you should-’

Seeing his siblings tangled in each other’s arms in Jaime’s bed, their mouths insistent on the other, his brother’s shirt tossed aside on the floor while Cersei’s dress was hardly much more on her body due to Jaime’s hands wandering under and over it, it all suddenly clicked into place, and Tyrion found himself unsure why he hadn’t come to that conclusion, as unpleasant as it was, in the first place.

It all made sense now- why he hadn’t been able to find Jaime anywhere outside, nor indeed anywhere else in the castle, and why his brother hadn’t answered any of his calls or texts or responded to his shouts; he hadn’t even left his bedroom, and he had been… preoccupied, to say the least.

Glimpsing only a snapshot of their identical mildly-startled-yet-unapologetic expressions and compromising position, Tyrion quickly slammed the door behind him, the unwelcome image burned into his vision.

He shook his head in a vain attempt to clear his head.

‘Do you know what knocking is?’ Cersei spoke as he turned back around to face them. He considered himself lucky that they had bothered to make themselves at least half-decent.

‘Clearly I was not expecting to burst in on… _this_!’ He said exasperated. ‘And if I had known that this was what I was going to have the misfortune to see, I wouldn’t have come anywhere near! Trust me, no one wants to see this less than I do.’

‘You could have given us some warning at least!’ his sister replied, clearly unhappy at having been disrupted – thought Tyrion thought that it was most likely the interrupted sex that bothered her, rather than having been caught by him.

‘How on earth was I meant to know you two were going to be _busy_ in here? And for the record, I did text and call Jaime countless times.’ Out of the corner of his eye, Tyrion saw his brother’s discarded phone halfway across the room, completely untouched, as Jaime winced at the comment.

‘Hang on,’ Tyrion exclaimed incredulously, ‘how exactly did this turn into _my _fault?’__

____

‘Well you should learn to-’

____

‘Okay, okay,’ Jaime said, interrupting his siblings. ‘It’s no one’s fault. Just…give us a moment to get dressed properly, ok?’

____

‘Fine.’ He said, turning his back to them. ‘Just hurry up about it. ‘

____

Don’t mind little me,’ he muttered under his breath, ‘always waiting for you two to ‘get dressed’.’

____

Tyrion could no longer count the number of times that his siblings had used their pitiable ‘just need to get changed’ or ‘just had a shower’ excuses; he had never truly believed them, and he wasn’t particularly sure that they expected him to believe it, but for the sake of his sanity he just went along with it, preferring not to think about what they were actually doing.

____

Hearing them whispering fiercely to each other, he turned around, staring at them with a raised eyebrow as they exchanged adversarial words.

____

_Ah, lovers’ quarrel._ He thought to himself. _Perhaps I should be glad that they have to keep the more intimate of disagreements to themselves._

_____ _

‘I’d hate to interrupt this little chit-chat,’ He said, clearing his throat after a few long seconds as the back and forth continued, ‘but uh, I am still here.’

_____ _

A short silence ensued as both twins turned to look at him.

_____ _

‘Look, Tyrion…’ Jaime started, as Cersei glared at him before finally huffing in irritated resignation. ‘There’s something we need to tell you.’

_____ _

‘Do tell.’ He said, perching himself on Jaime’s desk. He already had an idea where this was going, but he had to admit his interest had been piqued nonetheless.

_____ _

He tried to suppress his amusement as his brother clearly struggled to find the words.

_____ _

‘Well…I…um…you know how close we are – and always have been -, being twins and all…’ he said slowly, one of his hands settling around Cersei’s waist, ‘and, well… I guess what I’m trying to say is that…we’re closer in ways that other people don’t know…wouldn’t understand, ways that… would get us in trouble. You… get what I’m saying right?’ He asked gently as Tyrion nodded. ‘You’re not mad, are you?’

_____ _

‘No, I’m just wondering why you’re telling me something blindingly obvious.’ He said casually, picking up a pen and spinning it in his fingers.

_____ _

‘What?’ The twins chorused in unison, an identical look of shocked disbelief on their faces. If the matter at hand hadn’t been so consequential, Tyrion would have easily found their expressions hilarious.

_____ _

‘Oh come on,’ he said sceptically. ‘You can’t seriously mean that? I’ve seen you two making out and… more, for more than, what? More than 5 years? 9? 10? More? I don’t even remember anymore.’

_____ _

‘You were 6, 10 years ago.’ Cersei pointed out.

_____ _

He shrugged. ‘Doesn’t mean I didn’t see you. And’, he added, pointing the pen decidedly in their direction ‘you were underage.’

_____ _

‘In case you hadn’t noticed already,’ he carried on before either could say anything, ‘you’re not very subtle. And you’re lucky that you’ve gotten away with as much as you have. Mother is on to you. You should be more careful. Anyone could have walked in just now. I know you love each other truly, that’s as obvious as me being a dwarf. And I know you’ve been fucking for god knows how many years, but I really don’t want to think about that. I also know that that’s not going to change, and I have no intention or desire to try to change it. But,’ he continued, seeing them start to relax a little, ‘I am probably the only other person that will think that way, and the world is not as forgiving nor wise as I am. But you already know that, and you take the risks anyway. For that, I even admire it a little, as poorly as you do to cover it up.’

_____ _

‘Though it could be worse.’ He said, as a gentle smile tugged at their features, ‘Could be as bad as that eggplant and banana omelette that Jaime graced us with a few years ago.’

_____ _

‘Hey!’ He protested, the tension fully broken as they laughed at the memory. ‘It was the thought that counted!’

_____ _

‘And what part of you thought it would be a good idea?’

_____ _

‘It was all we had left in the kitchen! And anyway’ Jaime said as Cersei pecked him playfully on the cheek, ‘my cooking skills have much improved since then.’

_____ _

‘Maybe you should prove it tonight.’ Cersei murmured, far too suggestively for Tyrion’s liking, tucking her head into the crook of Jaime’s neck and looking up at him with identical emerald eyes.

_____ _

‘No, no, no, and no.’ Tyrion said quickly, before Jaime could respond. ‘No one is ‘proving’ anything. See what I mean about subtlety? How about we have a nice, grown-up conversation instead?’

_____ _

‘And what do you propose we talk about, little brother?’ His sister asked absently, turning to adjust the rucked up bedsheets around her.

_____ _

‘How about this.’ He said, getting an article up on his phone and tossing it to them.

_____ _

Tyrion watched his brother’s eyes widen as he read the article, but his sister looked less than impressed as she glanced at the screen over her twin’s shoulder.

_____ _

‘I’ve seen that already.’ Cersei announced, turning back to look at him as Jaime continued to read, his brow furrowed. ‘It’s nonsense. A hoax. The bill will never get passed by both houses, let alone get Royal Assent.’

_____ _

‘Unlikely, yes, but not impossible.’ Tyrion countered. ‘The Royal Family are known for being quite liberal, and you can’t underestimate the weeds Aerys has planted in parliament.’

_____ _

‘The weeds can be ripped out and there are plenty ministers who are not Targaryen loyalists. Look at Father, he’s not going to be happy about this. And that’s all very well about them being liberal, but the Martells are still furious over Rhaegar abandoning Elia for Stark’s sister, what, three years ago now? And you can hardly say that improved with her death last year. King Doran may be a bit of a peacemaker, but he’s not going to forget a slight like that, especially not against his own sister, and especially not through means that will benefit Aerys.’

_____ _

‘Father may be chief advisor to both the King and the Prime minister, but do you think that’ll stop Aerys? He’s going mad, doesn’t trust anyone anymore. He’ll turn the country upside down just to-'

_____ _

‘PM Aerys Targaryen has proposed a new bill, proposing that sibling-sibling and step-sibling incest should be legalised, to join the cousin-cousin incest already permitted by law. Many ministers were shocked by the proposition, with some even threatening resignation, but the discussion around the bill will go ahead from tomorrow nonetheless.’ Jaime read out slowly, and Tyrion and Cersei turned to their brother as he looked up at them with a questioning expression. ‘How is this in Aerys’ interest, if not just to piss a few people off?’

_____ _

‘Because rumour has it that Aerys’ wife is not his cousin, but his sister,’ Tyrion said, searching up another article on Jaime’s laptop and indicating to it, ‘and now that light is being shed on all his other indiscretions, well, people are starting to talk. This could be his last ditch effort not to get sent to prison when he inevitably loses the next election to Cersei’s future husband.’

_____ _

Tyrion regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth as his sister shot him a death glare across the room. ‘Don’t joke about that.’ She warned bitingly. ‘It’s not funny. I will not marry that fat, pig-headed, whore-mongering drunkard, no matter how much father insists I will. And nor will I marry Oberyn before you comment on that.’

_____ _

‘You know,’ Jaime said, ‘as crazed and unbearable as Aerys is, for once I hope he gets what he wants. Fuck the rest of the country and their century old laws.’

_____ _

Cersei scoffed. ‘Like that will happen. No doubt Father and Robert will join forces to overthrow Aerys, and we can all go back to our happy arranged marriages and wonderful life prospects. If we know anything about father, he’s already spoken to Aerys and the King already.’

_____ _

‘But, just imagine if it did.’ Jaime said, the hope in his voice clear as day as he turned to look at his twin, his eyes shining with the thought of what could be. ‘Imagine if he does get what he wants.’ He laced his fingers with hers, and Tyrion could not help but smile gently at what he saw, at the pure, sincere hope that his brother held. ‘We’d be able to have _us_. We’d be free.’

_____ _

Cersei sighed softly as she brought her other hand up to touch Jaime’s cheek. ‘It’s not that I don’t want that Jaime, you know that. I just don’t want to get our hopes up only for it to be taken away.’

_____ _

This time, as Jaime drew her lips to his in a short, sweet kiss, Tyrion made no move to part them, instead turning his head to look out over the perfectly manicured gardens of Casterly Rock, letting them enjoy their little moment.

_____ _

But suddenly a gentle knock on the door sounded, barely giving Tyrion enough time to slam down the laptop lid and for Jaime and Cersei to bolt apart before their mother walked in.

_____ _

‘Here you all are,’ Joanna said as she eyed them suspiciously, sensing the newly created tension in the room as they all gave her their best smiles. ‘What are you three up to?’

_____ _

A brief silence followed her question as Tyrion quickly thought through the possibilities of plausible lies he could tell their mother without raising more suspicion.

_____ _

Unfortunately for all three of them, Jaime opened his mouth first. 

_____ _

‘Just discussing some interesting political developments.’ He said hastily as Tyrion did a mental face palm.

_____ _

He loved his older brother dearly, but there were some times that he really wished he would just keep his mouth shut. But thinking before doing had never been Jaime’s forte, he supposed.

_____ _

‘Oh.’ Joanna said softly, one eyebrow raised pointedly in the direction of her eldest children. She ran a hand fondly through Tyrion’s hair before taking a seat in Jaime’s desk chair. ‘Well it’s good to see the three of you spending some time together.’ She said, and Tyrion could see the cogs turning in his mother’s mind as she looked dubiously at the twins.

_____ _

‘Yes, we were just catching up.’ Cersei added innocently, returning their mother’s gaze. He had seen it hundreds of times, but every time Tyrion saw his mother and sister in a room together he was always surprised anew by just how similar they looked. Their long golden hair, their facial expressions, certain of their mannerisms; with their beauty envied across the county, there was no doubt as to which pride the two golden lionesses belonged.

_____ _

‘Speaking of, Jaime how’s that girl you told me about a few weeks ago? Are you still seeing her?’ Joanna asked.

_____ _

Tyrion bit back his laughter at seeing the confusion flash over his brother’s face, before remembering the lie he had spun to his mother about having a girlfriend – Cersei by any other name -, just to get her off his case.

_____ _

‘Um, yeah, she’s good.’ He started, as Cersei gave a not-so-subtle cough to mask her laughter.

_____ _

‘That’s an understatement.’ His sister said as Jaime shot her a look. ‘He’s _besotted_.’

_____ _

‘Yeah he won’t stop talking about her.’ Tyrion added, as their mother cast a look back and forth between her children.

_____ _

‘He goes on and on and on about how much he loves her.’ Cersei teased, rolling her eyes.

_____ _

‘And that’s without mentioning the night time activit-’ Tyrion laughed as Jaime threw a cushion at him.

_____ _

‘It’s nice to see you all in a good mood.’ Joanna remarked sincerely as all their laughter eventually subsided.

_____ _

‘Alright, dinner will be done soon, I hope you’re hungry.’ She said standing up, but stopped at the door. ‘Oh, Tyrion I want a quick word with you.’

_____ _

‘Sure.’ He replied, and with a dramatic crossing of his fingers to his siblings, followed their mother out of the room as the three of them shared a last wary look.

_____ _

Tyrion had a feeling he knew exactly what his mother wanted to talk about, and he could not say that he was looking forward to it.

_____ _


End file.
